By Richard Jay Parker
On the whole, the process of writing is pretty unspectacular. The results can be be sensational but, bar our own internal enthusiasm, creating isn't really a spectator sport.
When writers get together to chat they may briefly touch on their idiosyncratic writing routines - times of the day when they're at their most creative etc - but most of the talk will be about the material itself, agents, publishers, other writers that excite them etc.
It's probably because the actual activity of writing is so very personal. Everyone has their own approach. Some like to sit and let the words come while others don't turn on their computer until they've written copious notes and know exactly where they're headed.
Whichever is the case, its only exciting for us when we're in full flow.
This is something of a relief as it means there can't be any sort of 'X Factor,' 'Strictly Writing Idol' (Strictly Bone Idle in my case) show to audition and ritually humiliate up and coming literary talent. No panel of industry 'experts' to pitch material to in front of an arena audience.
It wouldn't make good TV but I wouldn't put it past them. Everything that ends in 'ing' (singing, cooking, acting, dancing, skating, backstabbing etc) can now be nationally validated by supercilious gurus or a phone vote. Writing could be next.
I wonder how rich a culture we would have if it had always been the case.
Sorry, Mr Hemingway you've been voted off.
Miss Austen - you're fired. Particularly as you're letter writing skills are so appalling (see Matt's blog below)
Thankfully writing is about imagination and then skillfully implanting that in someone else's. Something that can't be controlled by producers desperate to harness the next thing to strip and degrade.
But maybe one day I'll have to be in front of a 'celebrity' panel pitching a thriller. I'll be stopped mid sentence and told to choose something else. I'll change it to a celeb biog and everyone will cheer.
In the meantime, 'I'm A Writer Get Me Out Of Here!'
More about Richard's work at http://www.richardjayparker.com/